gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize