Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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