if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
