look no pants
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your cock deserves a montage
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
