This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
