Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
