She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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