kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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