i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So much rum. So many feels.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
