please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
