Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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