I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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