I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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