Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
