he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
