Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Let's get the cat blown out
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
