I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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