So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
