11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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