I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
