I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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