If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
