maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
