Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
