thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize