haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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