i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
