You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
