i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
