OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
