you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
they're like a gay fantastic four
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
