Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
