I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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