you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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