You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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