Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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