I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
