just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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