Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
