the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
