respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
