We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
40s are totally the cure
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
