We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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