Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
