i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
