i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
