The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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