Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
