he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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