After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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