Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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