The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
