I cockslap morals
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
