First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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