It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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