Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
