Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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