she smelled like a LAN party
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
