does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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