how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
