TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
